So someone just accused me of being gay because I “lack gusto.”

Let me explain.

I was in the deli downstairs walking up to the fridge to get a sixpack. A dude (whom I have seen before, but it’s not like we know each other) was getting a single beer, and, seeing him moving away from the beer, I just walked up behind him as he left. Apparently he thought I got too close, and he said, “Hey man you gotta say excuse me.”

Had it ended there, it’s a weirdly oversensitive dude. But then..

“I respect what you guys do but you can’t just be up on someone like that.”

I should have said, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” but I was trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about. And then I was like, oh, he thinks I’m gay.

This is not the first or last time for this. I fit a handful of stereotypes I guess. Whatever.

But I did say, “Oh, dude, I’m not gay. I’m sorry I didn’t say excuse me sooner.”

“You’re not?” he said. “Well you’re kind of effeminate there. You definitely lack gusto.”

Gusto. This is a thing people say at all, let alone to be paranoid and homophobic? Weird.

And of course, the whole assumption is offensive - not to me, I don’t care, but to gay folks, who he of course assumes are weak.

I do have a high voice, but I was in a hoodie and jeans. I figure I look like most young people, but it seems that in certain parts of the culture, rooting out the not-manly is a professional sport.

It’s sad. But at least, in his weird paranoia, he started with “I respect what you all do.” That’s better than I would have hoped.