“On the one hand, I have no complaints because butts are the best. On the other, and this is sort of my biggest concern with Fast Five, this movie is likely going to be number one at the box office this weekend and twenty percent of its trailer is butts.”—I agree. Butts are the best.
“Lead Female Character desperately wants to find a handsome husband as she feels hollow and incomplete without one, because even though Romantic Comedies are aimed at women, the people who write them either have never met or aggressively hate women.”—
I’m aware of food chains, yes, and that animals wouldn’t stop to consider our livelihoods. But if we’re to consider our brains special, maybe we could slow down our insane consumption. 52 billion! Jesus.
“Adam Levine is apparently meant to appeal to the hipster demographic and is clearly the “hip” guy on the show, but I assure you, he would get his ass beat down on the mean streets of Williamsburg, Brooklyn if the hipsters could bother risking their seats at the local organic artisanal coffeeshop to get up and chase him down.”—
“The ravaging of classic literature to create more explosion-y “reimaginings” shows no signs of stopping, because let’s face it: If classic literature didn’t want to be ravaged, it shouldn’t have been strutting down the thoroughfare with its public domain rights just hanging out like that”—AV Club, Re: Zorro
“I am speaking for the vast majority of the American people as well as for the press," he said. "We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We have better stuff to do. I have got better stuff to do. We have got big problems to solve.”—Well said, sir. Far as I’m concerned that’s the last time I’m allowing the birthers into my brain.
“I hate to agree with Justin Bieber on anything, but his tweet about the egg thing was priceless: “People say it’s artistic and stuff, but I’m just like, ‘You’re in a egg.’”—Random Jezebel comment. Heh, I never thought I’d give props to the Biebs. But there we go.
Supposed to analyze why Blair’s speech post-Diana’s death was considered more affecting than the Queen’s.
I must say, I am totally with the Queen. Sad, but, come on. Mother Teresa died the same week yet we just had to have an ongoing grief orgasm for Diana.
But it’s not automatically devastating when a conventionally pretty, rich (and, yes, white) person dies when there are so many more young people suffering every day. She wasn’t even, like, an actual leader. Crying for Rabin or JFK or RFK or Bhutto makes sense. This was just sillypants. Years and years of sillypants.
Older fellow. Not the oldest guy I see in the locker room, but close.
His entire body is covered in little ringlets of white hair. But he’s bald. This is not abnormal for men of a certain age.
However, he insists on wearing the most ridiculous toupee known to man. And it’s black, like, black as my hair. He’ll be naked, still have the thing on. And he showers with it on, comes back out with the thing dripping.
I want to feel bad for him. How do you reach the point where you’re so attached to having hair that you act this way? And then I say, “maybe he has some sort of scar,” but then I figure most folks would probably wear a hat and just take it off in the shower.
And he engages in conversations with everyone around him. And then I realize, as I often do, I’m just inventing a backstory for a stranger. Someone does something I don’t understand, and I try to fit it into something that makes sense to me.
So, you know what? I have no idea why this goofy refuses to take off his ridiculous headpiece. But it really shouldn’t matter to me.