January 2011
59 posts
Today's Tourism
So I met my ex-co-worker at the guesthouse where he’s staying - he looks so boyish without his suit - and we ran all around this little island (or the southern part of it) in the cold. And it was fun times showing off the place I’m absurdly fortunate to be from.
We went to Wall Street, walked over to ground zero, walked part of the way across the brooklyn bridge, popped up to...
Time To Be A Tourist
My co-teacher from Daegu - the one who was primarily responsible for me and my happiness for two years - is in NYC this week. Today I shall show him Times Square, Central Park, the subway and the ESB. I haven’t been up the ESB since I was like eleven. I’m looking forward to being a tour guide.
Fuller, this is a dry run for your visit!
I Didn't Realize...
…Santa Claus was real.
Jesus Christ, Donald.
That was fun!
Grammys and Oscars coming up!
Out of Firth, Bonham Carter and Rush...
…Firth is the only one who looks like a human tonight. Why is Rush bald? I hope it’s for a role, it ain’t a good look.
Good for Colin, always liked that guy for one reason or another.
Ms. Portman...
….is so small in real life (as confirmed at TFC in 2007) that her pregnancy makes her look like she’s going to topple right the fuck over.
Glad she won, too.
Always amusing to hear Christian Bale..
…speak in his normal voice/accent.
Dead People Montage
Who will win?
I think Dennis Hopper won. And that’s why they put him last.
Ernest Borgnine
Badass.
Put this in the pile of things I never thought I’d write a blog post about.
Melissa Leo
Considering the roles she plays usually require her to be hideous, I am surprised that Melissa Leo is apparently a beautiful woman. Who knew?
SAGs
I haven’t watched these since 07. Man, this is really a good time of year for TV, though, isn’t it? These tonight, Superbowl next week, Grammys after that, Oscars follow.
Edited Sex And The City
I’m watching the show on “E!” and it’s so heavily edited that one of their post-sex conversations was entirely nonsensical. I have no idea what they were making stupid puns about, but I think it was semen.
The Best Part Of Waking Up...
..Is Law and Order on my TV!
Fuck Folgers.
Saw Blue Valentine...
Currently extremely glad to be single. Jesuchristo.
Go With The Flow
Fuck the flow. I am the flow in my life.
MR DJ
…If you say “hey new york city!!!” You can’t follow that up with ‘sweet home alabama’
BO
Someone in this bar has some really baaaaad BO. Smells like Reunions. Ha.
Dark Knight's On TV
Dark Knight’s on TV. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was mad it came out a month late in Daegu.
Off for the night.
Dumb Jeopardy 1/28
Category: We All Speak Hindi (ie, English words that came from Hindi)
Answer: (picture of spotted yellow cat that could only be a Leopard or a Cheetah) This animal is mostly found in Africa now, but it used to be found in India.
Question: What is a Cheetah?
It could have been either, I suppose, but leopard’s a European word.
Signs for stupid people
Presented without comment. From my sauna: “Spending excessive time in heated areas may cause overheating.”
Amusing Random Fact About Modern Family
Anyone who thinks the oldest daughter is cute is not (that much of) a perv: Sarah Hyland is 22.
Anyone who thinks the middle daughter is cute, never speak to me again: She just turned 13 today.
(Luke is 12 in real life.)
Out of context NBC Comedy Lines 1/28
A new feature!
“I don’t think my character would say tripping balls…. OKAY?”
“Dragging Britta kicking and screaming into 1997.”
“I don’t get it. Aren’t everyone’s parents rich?”
”..Every dollar from the period fairy when I was a kid.”
“I found the drapes in a dumpster. Can you believe it?”...
Dumb Jeopardy 1/27
Not so bad today. Probably this one…
Category: In God We Trust.
Which somehow has nothing to do with the questions.
Answer: Something like… “It’s hard not to love Shrek, even though he’s a big, green one of these.”
Question: What is an ogre?
Really? People are expected not to be aware of Shrek’s existence? They made four of those. Fail.
Cancel on me...
….and unless you are suffering from explosive diiarhea (and say so), have a very ill relative/friend, just got mugged and need to call and cancel your credit cards, etc etc.
Basically, no excuse or poor excuse, and unless we’ve established a solid bond, I’m pretty much not going to hang with you again unless you give me a real good reason.
“Maybe we can try again next...
Hmm..
Well, there are a few apartment issues right now (Akil’s heat isn’t working well, the kitchen faucet is always loose, etc), but one of the main issues is that the one bathroom’s sink is clogged.
I come home today and the sink is literally spewing dirt forth. Just spewing it. Great.
Well, they better clean the shit, then.
And This Is Why...
…cities where you have to drive everywhere fail at existing.
I’m glad I’m not forced to choose between driving and goddamn SEPTA today. That’s for sure.
Also: It’s really fluffy, pretty snow today. It’ll get nasty in a day or two. But today is beautiful.
Dumb Jeopardy 1/26
There were many choices tonight. I’m going to go with the category of “1980s no. 1 hitmakers.” So they would give you a title and a hint, and you would say the artist.
Answer: 1984 - “Take A Look At Me Now” (It’s already easy). But then they went and gave the hint, “Do you have a genesis of who it might be?” (or something).
Question: Who is Phil...
Oscar Nod Reactions
….eh? Nolan got snubbed, even if one of my friends won’t shut up about his growing dislike for that movie.
Otherwise, well, I wrote a few weeks ago that I pretty much liked all of the best picture presumptive nominees. I’ll have to watch “Winter’s Bone” now since it made it in over “The Town.” (I suspect that was the right choice.)
Pulling for TKS...
Button Fly
I don’t know where I got my button-fly jeans from. Probably the Gap or Old Navy or something. I’ve had them for such a long time, and I hate them. Every time they come up in the pants rotation, I’m annoyed. “No, not these. Why, why must I wear these? I like nothing about them.” Yet I kept them. I kept them for years and years. I chose not to give them away to someone...
Dumb Jeopardy 1/25
Category: Sydney
Answer: Some long rambling nonsense on a video with a pretty lady (because that’s why people watch Jeopardy…) that was something about a hedgehog or something named Millie, which is short for “Millenium,” who came to Sydney the year they hosted the summer games, and then I realized they were asking “What year did Sydney host the games, hint hint...
The Nadir And The Peak
Every year seems to have a nadir of cold, and a peak of heat. These may not be the days that are actually the lowest/highest temperatures, but they’re the moments you can see coming from reading forecasts, where the next few days aren’t quite as bad, and it’s unlikely you’ll have to deal with it again.
I suppose yesterday was that day in NYC. And frankly, I just wore an...
Dumb Jeopardy 1/24
And tonight’s dumbest Jeopardy question is:
In the category of “SAG Award for movie cast”:
Answer: 2008: A tale of Game Showmanship on the Subcontinent.
Question: What is “Slumdog Millionaire?”
AND NO ONE GOT IT RIGHT. I think people are unclear about what the “subcontinent” is. In which case, die, because you are bad.
Back to work
So today I get a haircut, pick up some info from my biz partner, and prepare for a huge meeting Tuesday. It’s just about the coldest it’s been for me since Jan 08 (NYC is much worse than Korea), and I’m going to be working out harder than I have in a long time.
Life is currently just like those workouts I’ll be doing: strenuous but worth the effort.
And hopefully this...
Hangers
Before I left for the trip, I realized that a great deal of things in my drawers and closet were disorganized. I vowed to correct this upon my return, and today was that day.
I found old pictures, a whole lot of clothes I’d forgotten about, and mostly, hangers. So many goddamn hangers. By my count (of course I counted), there were about 51 there. 51! My closet is so much freer and...
YEAH
Partying with cruise peeps, my sister, and my nyc friends. Ideal.
Winter Cruise: Recap
What’s left to say? I’d put that vacation firmly in the top 5 ever behind, in order, Zambia/Zimbabwe, Vietnam/Cambodia, Alaska, and Singapore/Malaysia.
Back in NY, with many meetings to schedule and shows to catch up on as the new semester starts.
Asskicking to recommence now.
Winter Cruise: Days 9-10
Not much to report from the second portion of the days at sea. Simply nice weather if cold, more fun times, good food, free-flowing drinks. The silly cruise-ship couples all broke up, pretty much simultaneously, which makes me laugh. Otherwise, at this point, I’m just excited to get back to NYC, cold and bills and stress and all.
Recap coming tomorrow (Saturday).
Winter Cruise: Day 8
Jan 18th (Tortola)
And thus my time on land ends. Today we hit Tortola (spanish for “turtle dove”) and got what I believe are the very best pictures of our trip. (Again, forthcoming.) The next three days begin with another Pub Crawl/shower/trivia/captain’s reception/kings/dancing evening, and will continue with chilled out days. Essentially, I have 4.5 liters of alcohol stashed away to...
Winter Cruise: Day 7
Jan 17th (St. Martin)
I cannot unsee the things I saw today on that nude beach.
It was not the first time I visited one – in fact I had been to the very same beach in 1998. I also went to a few when I was in France in 2007.
But this was just nude overload.
I saw big breasts, little breasts, saggy breasts, deflated breasts, beautiful breasts, horrid breasts. I saw big dicks, little dicks,...
Winter Cruise: Day 6
Jan 16th (Antigua)
This has been my schedule the last couple of days.
Up at 830, arrange self, tour at 930 (today we went ziplining, which was a lot of fun; one of the lines was 325 feet long.), purchase liquor (today we got a handle of vodka for 14 bucks, seriously), lunch/write these posts (this is where I am in today’s schedule), pool/hot tub, gym (can’t go entirely to seed),...
Winter Cruise: Day 5
Jan 15th (St. Thomas)
Last time we were in St. Thomas, we immediately hopped a boat to St. John and went snorkeling. So today was our first real time spent on the island.
Some thoughts:
We went on a seatrek, which is basically walking around on the sea floor with a weird helmet on our heads that allowed us to breathe without getting wet. Not nearly as “hardcore” as scuba diving, but it...
Winter Cruise: Day 4
Jan 14th (PR)
Yesterday (Thursday night), Jessica taught me how to Dougie. Funny.
Anyway, all of the women I have met here that are young but over, like, eleven are closer to Jessica’s age. Jessica is very cool to them because she goes to NYU.
That said, I did meet a woman of vintage age yesterday, and, as Forrest Gump would say, “That’s all I have to say about that.” (And...
Winter Cruise: Day 3
Jan 13th (At Sea)
Now this, THIS is a day at sea.
Woke up in a bleary alco-haze, wandered to the gym, which was not wobbling because the weather is better.
Ate a delicious seafood lunch. People-watched.
Went back to the hot tub and drank some beers there. People were out in full force and even though it was only 60 degrees (and thus wasn’t really pool weather) it was a nice...
Winter Cruise: Days 1-2
Jan 11th (NYC- At Sea)
So we left NYC around 4. Jessica and I explored the ship, the Norwegian Gem, and found it to be the most absurd creation in the history of mankind. Pictures are forthcoming, but suffice it to say that, aside from the expensive internet, this entire enterprise makes perfect sense, and we should all travel like this.
Somehow, through timeshares I think, my mom got us...
The Schedule
For anyone who would like to know:
Boat leaves at 4 today. I have to be on the boat at 2. Thus, this is my last post from land for ten days.
I will write down observations during my three days of Cabin Fever and post them Friday night and Sat.
I will write down observations about the five islands as I visit them Friday-Tues. I’ll post those Sunday-Thursday (or schedule them that way),...
If you need to reach me before the 21st...
Email me. I’ll check facebook every so often, but not often enough to correspond.
I’ll post here, though.
Silence: Part 2
So, after calling Time Warner and getting my internet back up to speed (literally), I decided to download many movies for the days at sea when it will be cabin fever central.
The Fighter, yes, I’ve seen it, but my sister hasn’t.
Everything else is basically something I’ve wanted to see (or heard good things about) but was never too inclined to catch up with.
Megamind, Salt,...
Silence
Here are the internet rates for the cruise I’m going on:
Pay as you go: $0.75 per minute Time Package Plans:
250 minutes for $100 ($0.40 per minute)
100 minutes for $55 ($0.55 per minute)
Pay as you go $0.75 per minute
!!!!!
Suffice it to say, I’ll be pre-writing posts on my laptop and then posting them at the end of each day. If you want to email me, understand I’ll...
Math of Beauty →
Oktrends is interesting. Read the analysis, but the gist of it is:
Women that some men think are 10s but others think are 0s tend to get more attention than those everyone agrees are 7s, even if the latter is rated better on average. So then you get some people (not me) thinking plastic-y Megan Fox is amazing and never shutting up about her, and others like, “WTF? Why the fuss about her?...
Packing with the Captain
So I’m going on a cruise tomorrow, as I mentioned. First time since I was 11. We have stops lined up in Puerto Rico, St. Thomas, Antigua, St. Martin and Tortola. Best part is it leaves from Manhattan.
Only drawbacks are that this is when I should be doing a lot of selling for the company - my associate will have to pick up the slack in my stead - and that Antigua (and Barbuda) is the only...
Country Strong sucks →
And you knew it would suck, didn’t you? Paltrow is bad. And she’s ruining the awesomeness of Cee-Lo’s “Fuck you.”
But anyway, this is an awesome review of her latest movie that you should read and crack up to.